Post date: Apr 6, 2026

Indomitable Spirit

Before I start my essay, I would like to apologize to the black belts reading this. I was asked to talk about my journey, and I did—it was brutally honest and raw. Please do not get offended bynine-year-old me; she was a very difficult kid. Thank you.

If a white belt and a black belt walked into the same room, most people would think that they were miles apart. One at the end and one at the beginning. To be honest, I thought the same as well, but my journey through taekwondo taught me that it was a lie. A black belt is just a white belt that refuses to sit down.

The first thing that they teach you in taekwondo isn’t how to kick, or how to punch, or how to spar, it's how to stand. Feet shoulder-width apart, both knees bent, all ten toes pointed forward. The perfect front stance. Before you can move forward, you must know how to stand your ground.

I don’t remember my first kick, my first strike, or the first time I ran through Chon-Ji, the only thing I remember is the first time the mat betrayed me. The first time my balance wavered, the first time gravity won and I hit the ground hard enough that it woke me up from whatever trance I was in. But the mat? It didn’t laugh. It didn’t scold me. It just waited. Because that is the secret in taekwondo, no one tells you that floor is one of your best teachers. The floor and I have an unspoken agreement, it lets me fall and I promise to get back up, no matter how hard the takedown was, no matter how unprepared I was, no matter how hard I hit the ground.

I hated taekwondo with every fiber of my being. The rigid structure, the endless repetition, the way my instructors corrected me over and over and over again until my legs started to burn and my patience snapped. I hated bowing to random black belts that I didn’t know just because they were a higher rank than me. I hated memorizing forms that I deemed useless. I hated spending my evenings in a dojang when I could have been anywhere else. I hated when my board didn’t break and to be completely honest, I still do. I hated test days. I hated it when I had to repeat the same combination of floor movements. I hated the Westview church because that is where all my taekwondo classes were held. I hated going to the Westview Church and staring at the clock, just waiting for break time to come and I could happily take a break from what I believed to be the most unneeded activity. I hated teaching little kids. And honestly, at some point, I hated my instructors because they were the ones who were my biggest critics (but also my biggest supporters).

Sometimes, when my instructors critiqued me when I wasn’t in a good mood (only when I was younger), I would roll my eyes the moment they looked away or silently reenact their instructions like I was starring in a tragic drama about my suffering.

I carried these negative feelings towards taekwondo for four years. It’s quite funny thinking about it now because I couldn’t have felt more different about taekwondo than compared to how I feel about it now. But back then, quitting wasn’t an option. Quitting would mean going back to traditional Indian dance and despite my strongly despising taekwondo, I hated dance even more. So I sucked it up. Instead, I waited for the day I would start to like taekwondo. The day when coming to classes wasn’t something that I dreaded but instead looking forward to. Safe to say, I had to wait almost five years to start feeling this way towards taekwondo. I like to compare taekwondo to having a younger sibling, they are annoying but at the end of the day, you love and enjoy spending time with them.

So let me tell you about when I started to enjoy taekwondo. Surprisingly, it happened after my first Friday night class which is still a bit shocking to me. I had just become a brown belt and had received my letter (which every brown belt got) letting me know of the requirements needed to get my black belt; one of the requirements stated that I had to get a minimum of four brown belt Friday night classes. Eventually, I went to the hub to attend a Friday night class. I remember someone dimming the lights and before I could turn around to see the culprit, I heard Grandmaster Ferguson telling us to get into rows of five. I remember being intimidated by him but also feeling immense respect because I had never been in a class taught by a Grandmaster before. Before I knew it, he had us doing kicks and punches and combinations at a pace I had never done and somewhere along the way it was break time and I had not glanced at the clock once. I think that moment was incredibly pivotal to me and my development through taekwondo.

But it wasn’t just that moment that laid the foundation, it was the sparring that happened during that class. My dojang is full of young children so you can see how easy sparring was at my dojang so imagine the shock I had when I sparred during a Friday night class. At some point during the rounds, I got face-to-face with Master Siever. I had heard a lot about him and his reputation for being good at sparring from senior brown belts and black belts but when I was sparring with him I realized that I couldn’t land a single strike on him, and he had probably landed five or more on me. I had never sparred with someone before that who I wasn’t able to land a strike. I enjoyed that match. I. Had. Enjoyed. That. Match. And from there the dominos started falling into their place. I started to look forward to Friday night classes and even my regular Tuesday and Thursday classes. Suddenly I enjoyed running through my forms and teaching the kids at my dojang; I wasn’t as intimidated by the black belts anymore and I looked forward to test days as they were a testament to the work I had put in the two months before those days.

There were ups and downs during my path. I had reached a big dip in my brown belt journey. There were black and brown belts in Two Rivers who were also at my school and participated in creating a ranking list of girls (including me) in my grade, ranking them by their looks from A, B, C, and D, to kill yourself. Appalled by this behavior, a couple of other girls reported this incident only to learn that they didn’t get reprimanded enough and were let off with a mere warning. I was furious that they didn’t get into as much trouble as I wished they would be in. I wanted them suspended–I wanted them expelled. Even though I wasn’t ranked low, the fact that some of my close friends were on the bottom end of the list made me feel frustrated by their petty, immature, incredibly manipulative behavior. Facing them at taekwondo classes made me feel a sickly feeling towards them. I didn’t want to deal with them. So I had started to dread going to taekwondo, knowing I would have to face them.

I would go to classes with a stoic face, give those individuals and many people the silent treatment or the cold shoulder, and just train. Training in hopes that I would get permission to go to the committee and be able to test for my temporary black belt. I started to hate going there and seeing their faces. They were of a higher rank than me so I was obligated to treat them with forced respect when in reality I had none for them. I started to have bad days at taekwondo, where my sparring was awful, my boards wouldn’t break, and I would forget the steps in my forms. I would try to suppress my volatile anger, but one day while working on my board break I started to become very frustrated at the board. Maybe it was also the added-on anger from the prior events but I ended up having a breakdown in front of Mr.Dale (which was incredibly embarrassing) and I ended up telling him everything, from the tier-list situation to the blatant disrespect those individuals have shown me and my friends in taekwondo and school over the past couple of months and dare I say years. I think a heavyweight got taken off me after that because I felt so much better. The following week, I began to enjoy coming to taekwondo again and I started to look forward to the classes and the content that would follow.

My journey to getting to the position of being able to test for my black belt was anything but easy, as it is the same for everyone. I faced a lot of mental barriers that have stood in the way but I have persevered through them all. Even though I had to face people who weren’t courteous to me and the people around me, I still kept my respect for myself and have always, always kept my head up high. My self-control allowed me to stay silent, let people’s actions speak for themselves, and also to stay respectful to the people around me, despite my feelings. Through it all, I have stayed true to my values and never compromised my integrity, even in the face of adversity. No matter the obstacles, I have refused to back down, pushing through with unwavering determination and an indomitable spirit.

Your Future Black Belt,

– Lakshmi Kommineni

End Credits (A.K.A The people who have shaped my taekwondo journey, it’s pretty long so brace yourself)

Mr. Dale and Mr.Ochiche, thank you for being incredibly amazing instructors. Even though I am not your student anymore. Not only were you guys my instructors, but also important adult figures in my life. Without your guidance, I wouldn’t be here today. Thank you, sirs.

My family. Thank you for putting me in taekwondo. The connections I have made with the sport and the people in it have made me realize its importance. Thank you for dealing with my nagging to stay late go early or attend more classes while also dealing with my poor driving skills. More importantly, your help has made me realize that Two Rivers has become a second home and a community I aim to be a part of for a long time. Thank you.

Master Bailey. Thank you for being my first instructor and my current one. I appreciate you stepping in when I found out I didn’t have an instructor anymore. Your guidance has brought me to this position of being able to test for my black belt. Thank you, ma’am.

Mr.Bailey. Thank you for keeping test days entertaining, and classes unpredictable, and I am most thankful for the software program you made that randomizes the forms and one-steps. Thank you, sir.

To the people in my dojang. Sometimes you guys don’t listen. Sometimes you guys run around and make it difficult for me to teach you guys. But really, you guys have taught me patience and to have more fun since most of you are young. I hope you guys will become black belts in the future and will have to deal with even more energetic kids so you know how difficult it was to teach you guys. But seriously, thank you for being a part of my taekwondo journey.

To the people that I am testing with. I looked forward to my test day as I am sure you guys have as well. I enjoy training with you guys and I hope to do so for our permanent black belt and higher dan tests. Thank you.

Master Siever and Mr.Wilbur. Thank you for never going easy on me during sparring. I always dread sparring with you both, but your ways of teaching have had a profound impact on me. I look up to you both immensely. Thank you, sirs.

Grandmaster Ferguson. Thank you for teaching my first Friday night class. You take most of the credit for being the person who made me realize how fun taekwondo is. I hope to be in your position as a Grandmaster someday. Thank you, sir.

Miss. Fenton, Miss.Mulstay, and Mrs.Dietz. Thank you for being real ones and being very honest with me about how the committee and test will go like. Thank you ma’ams.

Mr.Keller, Mr.Whitehead, Miss.Whitehead, Mrs.Whitehead, Mrs.Xaykose, Mr.Mcdonald, Mr.Mitchel, Mrs.Mitchel, Mr. V Gupta, Mr. S Gupta, Master Goldstein, and Grandmaster Gonzalaz. Thank you all for assisting me in some way to get ready for my temp test.

Mr.Bigley, your guidance and advice has had a profound impact on me. Amidst my turmoils, I knew I could come to you and address my problems and know that you would listen. I look forward to every class that you are in and to every conversation we had and will continue to have. I am so immensely grateful for you, thank you sir for being there for me.

Kaedyn (I probably spelled this wrong) you are one of my favorite brown belts. I always enjoy test days and you are the funniest 4th grader (almost 5th grader) I know. You always have the best and funniest jokes and just like your Grandpa, I look forward to talking with you. I am so excited for you to become a black belt soon and I know you will do great during baseball season. Thank you.

Mr.Harman, my honors English teacher. Thank you for reading my first draft. It sucked, we both know it but thank you for giving me a reality check when it came to my writing. Thank you for aiding me in the right direction when writing this essay.

Melvin and Leah, thank you guys for also reading my essay. Knowing that you both are brutally honest I knew I would be able to fix whatever I needed to fix when it came to writing this. Thank you.

To the black/brown belts who participated in created the tier list, I applaud you for letting me know how to move on and to not let people’s reckless and disgusting actions get in the way of my success. Your behavior has allowed me to focus on myself more and understand that some people are not worthy of the time and space they take up.

To myself. Thank you for writing this essay, for dealing with those negative feelings, and for getting to this position. Before you get too happy though you still need to memorize the meanings of the flags (Test day is in 2 days) and know how to count to 100 in Korean, write your name in Korean, ace your AP exams, and qualify for nationals in FBLA (Update: I did!). You are the biggest procrastinator I know but probably one of the most reliable people I know as well. Thank you.

For the last time, thank you to everyone.

Pilsung.